Keaton Sawyer—my son, you are my reason for everything in life today.

Growing up, I always dreamed of becoming a mother, although I had no idea what that truly meant. I’ll never forget the day I found out I was pregnant. I had walked into a room where someone had peanut-butter coffee creamer, and the smell hit me so hard it sent me running to the bathroom. I hadn’t even had my morning coffee yet, and instantly I knew something wasn’t right.

A friend of mine gently suggested I take a pregnancy test. At first, I resisted. After years of trying, after doctors telling me that PCOS and endometriosis would likely make pregnancy impossible, I had all but given up hope. But deep down, I couldn’t shake the feeling that she might be right.

So I went and bought two tests. Every test I’d ever taken before had been negative, and I wanted to be sure. I didn’t want to be alone, so I took the test with someone by my side. She looked at the result before I did, and the expression on her face said it all—I was pregnant.

I nearly collapsed. The shock was instant and overwhelming. I wasn’t happy, I wasn’t sad—I was frozen, unable to process what was happening. The truth was, at that time in my life, I had been acting out of hurt, fear, anger and a mix of other emotions, making choices that ultimately lead to something life-changing. Here I was—pregnant.

The first call I made was to my best friend. I was shaking so badly that she thought I was about to tell her something tragic. Then I called my parents, who were on a cruise in Mexico, because I couldn’t keep the news in. I knew my mom would practically fall over when she heard—and I was right. Her reaction mirrored mine: nothing but pure shock and disbelief.

Once the news settled, excitement began to creep in, but so did anxiety. This wasn’t the way I imagined becoming a mother. My choices had led to an unexpected pregnancy and, ultimately, to raising a child without a responsible father. That reality terrified me. Yes, I had the support of my family, and I was grateful, but still—I longed for things to be different, both for me and for my child.

Pregnancy was anything but easy. Around that time, my mom became sick and needed open-heart surgery, which added even more stress to an already overwhelming season. My own health was also difficult to manage, and I often felt like I was carrying the weight of the world on my shoulders. At my 14-week ultrasound, surrounded by my mom, close friends, and the baby’s grandmother, I learned I was having a boy. Instead of pure joy, I broke down in tears—a mix of sadness, fear, and guilt that I couldn’t quite explain. It wasn’t that I didn’t love him; it was that life felt so uncertain, and I was already exhausted. Those feelings stayed with me through much of the pregnancy, as I battled constant sickness and overwhelming fatigue, just counting down the days until it would finally be over.

Then, five and a half weeks early, complications forced me into an emergency C-section. The fear in that moment was indescribable. Everything I had carried for months—the stress, the guilt, the questions of whether I was strong enough—came rushing in at once. At first, I couldn’t hold my son, and the waiting felt endless. But the moment they finally placed him in my arms, everything shifted. The noise of the world seemed to quiet, and in that instant, I felt what people talk about—that indescribable, unshakable love of a mother.

That day, Keaton Sawyer entered the world, and everything changed. He became my reason for living, my reason for fighting, my reason for becoming. The journey to him was not easy, but his little soul has been the greatest blessing of my life. Every struggle, every hardship, and every tear was worth it, because they led me here—to him. And as I held him close, I knew without a doubt that no matter what lay ahead, my greatest purpose would always be found in being his mom.

To other moms who may read this: I want you to know that if your journey hasn’t looked the way you imagined, you are not alone. Motherhood isn’t always picture-perfect, and sometimes it’s born out of the hardest, messiest circumstances. But love has a way of redeeming even the most unexpected beginnings. No matter how your story started, the love you have for your child is enough—it’s powerful, it’s real, and it will carry you through.