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They say there’s a light at the end of the tunnel. But some days, it feels like the tunnel just doesn’t end.

I wake up groggy, dreading the thought of making my own coffee—wishing someone would just bring it to me so I could stay in bed a little longer. Still, I get up and stumble into the kitchen, the cold hardwood floor biting at my toes. I accidentally kick the dog because she’s so eager to say good morning, but I’m too out of it to notice she’s even there.

I rub my eyes, yawn, and glance at the clock: 11:00 AM. What the hell? How did that happen? Depression must be creeping in again.

I know I suffer from depression, anxiety and ADHD, which requires me to take medication for mood stabilization but lately, it just doesn’t seem to be working. Not lately, and definitely not today, at least. Maybe that’s why the light at the end of the tunnel seems so dim.

Depression and anxiety—when they set in, they can be as thick as fog, clouding your thoughts, muffling your motivation, and making even the simplest decisions feel impossible. Just like trying to drive through dense fog, you can’t see the path ahead clearly, and everything feels uncertain, heavy, and slow. You move through the day with caution, unsure of what’s coming next, and exhausted from trying to keep going without a clear direction.

But the day drags on. I’ve got a list of things to do, and zero energy or motivation to do it. All I want to do is crawl back under the covers and cuddle with the dog—the only one who seems to listen without barking or talking back. (Of course, she’s a dog, but still—bless her.)

I wonder how I’ll find the strength to do everything on my list. Prayer comes to mind… so I give it a try. But even that feels like a struggle. Every time I begin, a new thought distracts me, pulling my focus in a different direction. I keep starting over, losing my place, getting frustrated. What should take a few quiet moments becomes a long, scattered event that requires much effort. Thanks to having ADHD, even prayer isn’t the simple task it should be. (I’ve come to call this ‘prayer ADHD.’)

Despite my efforts I still feel weak and defeated. Mentally. Physically. Spiritually. Emotionally. I can’t pin down exactly what the problem is, or even if there is one. Maybe it’s not just one thing—maybe it’s a combination of things, or maybe my anxiety has created mountains out of molehills. Its so much I just cant see things clearly.

The stress of life, of family, of health, past choices, the small things that shouldn’t matter like laundry, a messy house, an empty fridge, the gas light, is suffocating. It can become too much at this point, and become the breaking point.

You’re just… sick and tired of effing tunnels.

Although this reflects part of my truth and reality, my journey with mental health has been anything but linear. It’s been a rollercoaster of highs and lows—moments of clarity and strength followed by seasons of heaviness and doubt. There have been times when I’ve felt like I was finally getting a grip, only to find myself slipping again. But through it all, one thing remains clear: mental health matters. It deserves attention, care, and validation—not just when things feel unbearable, but every single day. If you struggle with depression, anxiety, or any mental health challenge, I hope you can see a piece of yourself in this experience and know you’re not alone. This is hard—and it’s real—but it’s also human. And you are still worthy in the middle of it all.